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We’re going on a beer hunt

I’ve loved Michael Rosen since I was little but it wasn’t until having children that I actually read ‘Bear Hunt’ for the first time. That was nearly 3 years ago and, for those of you who also have small children, you will empathise when I say I have now read it several hundred times. This is my little homage to that wonderful book about trying to sneak out for a lunchtime tipple.

The book celebrated its 20th anniversary in 2009 so many of its early readers are now all grown up. They may just be acting out the story below too…

We’re going on a beer hunt
We’re going to catch a big one
What a beautiful day, we’re not scared
Uh oh! Paperwork. Boring, snoring paperwork.
We can’t go over it, we can’t go under it,
Oh no! We’ve got to go through it
Slapdash! Slapdash! Slapdash!

We’re going on a beer hunt
We’re going to catch a big one
What a beautiful day, we’re not scared
Uh oh! Email. Junky, clunky email.
We can’t go over it, we can’t go under it,
Oh no! We’ve got to go through it,
Click! Delete! Click! Delete!

We’re going on a beer hunt
We’re going to catch a big one
What a beautiful day, we’re not scared
Uh oh! Phonecall. Snappy, unhappy phonecall.
We can’t go over it, we can’t go under it,
Oh no! We’ve got to go through it,
Blah! Blah! Blah! Blah!

We’re going on a beer hunt
We’re going to catch a big one
What a beautiful day, we’re not scared
Uh oh! Colleague. Drudging, fudging colleague.
We can’t go over it, we can’t go under it,
Oh no! We’ve got to go through it,
Humdrum! Humdrum! Humdrum!

We’re going on a beer hunt
We’re going to catch a big one
What a beautiful day, we’re not scared
Uh oh! A wine bar. A snooty, tooty wine bar.
We can’t go over it, we can’t go under it,
Oh no! We’ve got to go through it
Riff! Raff! Riff! Raff! Riff! Raff!

We’re going on a beer hunt
We’re going to catch a big one
What a beautiful day, we’re not scared
Ah ha! A pub. A dark, stark pub.
We can’t go over it, we can’t go under it,
Oh yes! We’ve got to go through it
Sticky! Icky! Sticky! Icky! Sticky! Icky!

What’s that?!
One bulbous red nose, two blood-shot red eyes, three empty glasses?
It’s the boss!
Quick! Back through the pub! Sticky! Icky! Sticky! Icky! Sticky! Icky!
Back through the wine bar! Riff! Raff! Riff! Raff!
Back past the colleague! Humdrum! Humdrum!
Back through the phonecall! Blah! Blah!
Back through the email! Click! Delete! Click! Delete!
Back through the paperwork! Slapdash! Slapdash!

Get to our desks.
Open the spreadsheet.
Back to work.
Oh no!
We forgot to shut the facebook.
Down the taskbar.
Shut the facebook.
Back to work.
Into the spreadsheet.
Into despair.
Under the radar.
We’re not going on a beer hunt again.

 

 

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